Is Gender a Constant Performance?
Throughout our everyday life we consciously and unconsciously contribute to our sense of gender, whether it is the way we walk, talk, or even the way we style our hair, all of it contributes to our gendered self. Using these behaviors we are providing ourselves with a sense of comfort and a way of self expression. The props we choose often have to do with the gender norms presented to us at a young age. How we choose to use these props is either a way to reject or adhere to these norms showcased throughout society. But what happens if we stop doing one of these behaviors? What does it feel like to "do" your gender differently, even for just a day? These are the main questions to keep in mind while reading my experience.
About Me!
Hi! My name is Zara, I am an 18 year old women living in Edmonton, and here is my experience with my gender identity!
While I have always felt connected to my gender as female, it has still felt like a performance to uphold the values and physical embodiment of being the stereotypical women. Although I have grown up in a day and age where the main stream gender theory hasn't been heavily pushed onto me by my family, the social norms and expectations to uphold these gender values have still been a predominant factor in my life. Whether it is in school or in conversations with someone who is knowingly or unknowingly upholding these gender values, they have always been a constant factor that has shaped my identity. While I try to lean away from the stereotypes I still find myself thinking in these stereotypical gender ideologies.
Key Aspects that Help Me Feel Gendered
My Hair
My hair is something that significantly contributes to my feeling of my gendered self, the act of taking care of it, and styling it daily helps me feel more feminine because the act of curling, straightening and updos are seen as a more feminine thing to wear. Being aware that when you look at me I am presenting as female.
The accessories I wear
Accessories are something I feel holds the most significant power in my gendered self. Nearly everything is personalized with keychains, pins, stickers, or even a characters I feel attached to. Accessories are something that I have on me no matter what. I could be having a day where everything else that contributes to my gendered self has let me down, but I know I will always have some sort of self representing accessory on me.
Dressing in a more female presenting fashion
Presenting myself in a feminine fashion has always been something that helped me feel gendered. Picking clothes out everyday and representing myself in a female presenting way helps me feel more connected to my feminine side.
Why did I chose what I did?
Throughout the day I will be documenting my experiences as I "do" my gender differently. For this experiment I have chosen to remove all my accessories from my bag, everyday items (such as my Hello Kitty keys, characterized wallet, and stationary), and document my thoughts and feelings throughout the day!
You may be wondering why accessories? Why not choose something more appearance based? For me I try to stay away from things that influence my perception of my appearance on a daily basis, that would be wearing makeup everyday or always making sure to wear my best outfits. The one thing I constantly do to make up for the lack in my appearance is accessorizing my bag, wallet, etc., because it makes me feel more put together and that I won't be viewed in such a critical light by others.
Keychains and character accessories have become a big part of my identity, a lot of my friends can recognize me from the keychains on my bag, or the Hello Kitty accessories that have taken over my car. I tend to choose these on the fact that they help me feel more feminine even when I might be feeling less because of my physical appearance. While other people may not understand it , these little things bring me a sense of comfort and a way of expressing myself that other factors may not.
How it started
I started my journey on September 16th, by removing all my pins, keychains, journal, and carefully removing my stickers (making sure they are able to be put back on later). Completing this task actually took me a considerable amount of time and showed me how much of the stuff I own is a representation of my gender identity in some way.
September 17th would be the day where my challenge would really begin! Click the boxes to find out how my day went.
Join the conversation
Do you think you would be able to do this challenge? If so let us know down below how your experience with it went, and discuss with other their thoughts and opinions on the matter!
Create Your Own Website With Webador